Discovering me: Manhood Part 1

Bensolo Baraka is a young man after God’s own heart.  Well, that’s how I’d describe him in one sentence. If I were to say more, I’d probably add that his passion for life is evident in his determination and diligence at work, as well as his frequent outdoor adventures climbing mountains. He doubles up as an uncle to (his favorite niece) Joy 🙂 Hehe! {He’s the uncle I quoted here in the introductory post to this series} Since childhood, he’s inspired me in many ways; perhaps he’s the reason why I love reading novels. Recently, we had a discussion about Biblical manhood and I knew that the wisdom he had needed to be shared!

Men..where are you? Ahuu! This and next week’s posts are specially dedicated to you!



Much gratitude to Joy for allowing me to be used of the Lord, for His glory. May you be refreshed greatly by His goodness, blessings and mercy.  Tackling the issue of identity is indeed key in any Christian setting, as it is truly important to know your worth as the Lord says. I’m sure this has been said by many, but I wish to reiterate it. As long as we do not know who we are, and how the good Lord sees us, we shall be victims of this world and its warped philosophies. The world shall tell you; you can be sexually fluid, you can be a grown man and claim to be a teenage girl trapped in the body of a man among other absolutely crazy things. Unfortunately, these examples are not fabricated instances that my mind has decided to create to show identity crisis but some of the many we are constantly being shown on TV, the internet etc. But that particular direction of identity crisis is not what I shall share today.

Quick disclaimer; to those not familiar with regards to the downfalls of humanity and all that pertains, I, like all of you am no guru in matters identity.  I can truly assure you I am still LABOURING (in scripture and prayer) to be confident of MY identity and the Lord has been gracious enough to teach me a few things along the way called, ‘PATIENCE, RELIANCE ON HIM and CONFIDENCE in His ways’ that I would love nothing but to share. As Peter and John said before their accusers in the book of Acts 4, ‘we cannot stop telling about everything we have seen and heard.’ I borrow that same leaf.

So I was asked by Joy to speak about the identity of man (the masculine sex only) and I was more than happy to do it because I have truly learnt a lot over time on what SCRIPTURE says about manhood. Now it’s important for me to reiterate that my sharing here is completely based on scripture. Not what seems like common sense to me or the world, not what your culture expects of you, not what your family or girlfriend expects of you but what GOD, your creator expects of you.  He created you and knew why He gave you life, it’s prudent to know why so and what He desires of this life you have graciously been given. In fact the book of Romans 8:8 (MSG) the Bible speaks of God not being pleased at being ignored.  I am not blackmailing you to read this post but surely, isn’t it worth your time to HEAR and not IGNORE God’s word especially with regards to who you are?

Now, I will not flood you with one of those ‘10 ways to be a Man’ kind of articles. Absolutely not. I find them to be very limiting and close minded as one will be like, ‘Hey that wasn’t one of the 10 ways, so it’s not important for me to hear it.’ I truly believe that as the Holy Spirit is constantly revealing new ways of us being better Christians, being submitted to Christ and seeking righteousness, you cannot limit Him to 10 ways as frankly, you are not all knowing.


My main scripture reference is the book of Matthew 6:33, ‘Seek the Kingdom of God above all else and live righteously and he will give you everything you need.

Now this Biblical command is the basis of manhood in scripture. You want to know who you are as a man? You want to understand what God expects of you? How to lead as a man? How to be the priest of your household, the prophet, the protector, the provider? Seek God.  That is how simple it is. Don’t spend your time and resources going for books and listening to philosophies and the biggest of them all, YOUR EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS because an advertising company made it attractive, put nice models on posters&covers to twist your feelings among other marketing gimmicks. The Word of God will and should attract you if you take time to know Him. The same way you seek direction from your parents on a particular matter due to their say in your life is the same mentality I am trying to argue for. Unless you created yourself and if so, do lean on your own understanding. Write a book, a poem, its sequel; make a movie and two songs of how great you are. However, for those who are creations of an Almighty God, let’s seek Him in spirit and in truth.

When I came to understand the breadth of that scripture I was truly amazed. Think about it. The way to be successful in life is through seeking God. That piece of Biblical candor is amazing yet overly missed and taken at such cheap value. The breadth of that piece of scripture can never be expressed by anyone. It is boundless. In fact the best description of the word boundless is in that piece of Biblical truth.  If you want to be the best doctor; seek God, the best father; seek God, the best brother; seek God and whatever else your heart desires. If you seek God, allow yourself to be like a weaned child and quiet, to allow Him to teach you on who HE IS, who you are and what He desires of your life then as a man who is spirit led, everything else shall be added onto you.

Men, show me one man who relied on the Spirit to do anything and failed and I will denounce my salvation at this instance.


The dead horse I am trying to flog here is, it’s okay to read on matters pertaining how a man should love his wife and different ways of a man to be a provider and protector etc. but if your first source of information is not from the Spirit of God who dwells in you, or a spirit led man/woman, then you will forever read those books and forever be stressed and unfulfilled. However, if you seek God, those ‘everything else shall be added onto you’ includes wisdom as a man and a head of a house, knowledge on how to provide better, faster and more efficiently than you were, you will be given a blessed united household and anything else that can be put in. Because really, there is no limitation when it comes to God. Try Him.

For those who expected lots of scripture, I am sorry. I could have quoted more scripture in fact, I mulled over that thought for a while and made me extend the deadline for forwarding this write up to Joy but I never wanted that verse to share the stage with another. It’s too important. It needs to have all lights, eyes, ears, thoughts directed towards it. If you think about it this way, seeking God involves reading His word and constant prayer.

So want to know more verses about manhood? Start seeking; I assure you it shall be revealed. Enjoy seeking Him. The book of 1 Chronicles Chapter 16:11 talks of seeking God continually, Chapter 22:19 speaks of setting  your heart and soul, deciding to seek God, the book of Psalms 14:2 speaks of God looking down from heaven to see if there are any who seek after him(remember He doesn’t like being ignored) among others. The last scripture actually shows how eager God is to teach you on how to be a man. Free lessons from a God who is all knowing.  If that is not attractive advertisement for you, then I don’t know what is. 🙂

As I close, Peter said in the book of Acts 10:34, God plays no favorites. You seek him, you find him. He is not in the business of playing hide and seek. I truly believe those who seem to have a grasp of manhood, as scripture dictates, are everything like me and you ; just that they let the spirit of God teach them…Acts 10:35(MSG), “it makes no difference who you are or where you are from. If you want God and are ready TO DO AS HE SAYS, the door is open.”

So beloved, choose God as He says through the Psalmist (32:8), I will guide you along the best pathway (many paths that apparently lead to manhood, but He shall put you on the BEST) for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.” Yes, that’s an advertising agency called PSALMS. 🙂

Plain and simple. Seek Him.

Guys, I’d like you to meditate on that this week as we await another installment to the Discovering me Manhood sub-series that will be up next week Wednesday. I know I’m a lady, but I too cannot wait!

A huge thank you to ed_baba_zola for allowing me to use his portraits for this Manhood sub-series! Aren’t they just perfectly in line with the whole theme that’s been going on for the Discovering me series? God bless you! 🙂

Soli deo gloria!